what you were doing after I was sent away
The quality of our children’s behavior under your custodial parenting tells me what you were doing after I was sent away. The hygiene, the level of passion for the unseen, the level of profanity absorbed in their speech. When you leave me you should be doing two things: (i) you are leaving me to make your life better and (ii) you are leaving me to escape my world view—the “mental abuse” that comes with it. When you leave me you are doing this for the sake of supremacy: the world of ideas you intend to thrive in are beyond my imagination and my aspiration.
When you leave me to do absolutely nothing remotely like what I have written in the previous paragraph, then you have left me to make my life better. You have left me to save me. However, I know any children we might have between us will suffer from this ‘improvement’ in my life. My awareness of this (and the unfolding evidence of this) diminishes this attempt to save me. And, ah, my criticism of your efforts is just more “mental abuse.”
So, you have escaped mental abuse and (you would insist) our children are on the path to a better life. This means the following YouTube videos from The School of Life have nothing to do with you:
“When You Feel Stuck in a Relationship” has nothing to do with our relationship because I am so mechanical and non-human. There is no fear of hurting my feelings on a certain barbaric scale of fascism. And my pretenses toward “spiritual” practices and mentioning the word Buddha too many times simply fuels the ease of breaking contact with me. This video may have more to do with your next relationship—and, to add a Korean-movie plot twist to your whole situation, is the possibility that you are driven to settle for your new relationship because you are trying to prove that you never needed me (which is awesome because you are not coming back). And this could be a laughing matter to me but, when I think of our children imprinting on you as an example, it is heartbreaking.
“How Romantic Attachment Works” covers how the biology of the imprinting works. And, speaking of twists again, a complicated variation of this imprinting is when the inner child forms an attachment to the attachment of the parent. So an African-American daughter does not really attach to her mother—she attaches to her mother’s attachment to chronically-unemployed, pathologically-lying, light-skinned men.
“Why Are we All so Lonely?” attempts to introduce how civilization-scale cultural values can influence the intimacy (or lack thereof) of every day people. And this is why I am taking the time to mention The School of Life: because the work done under this channel is the essence of education. Education is about providing information for the sake of changing behavior.