Shots out at Slavery

The left shows Lawrence Ashen, known to the world as Ashy Larry played by Donnel Rawlings on Chappelle’s Show. This character is a work of genius. It is an entertaining caricature of mental slavery that captivates young people (like my 14 year-old son) and allows an older guy like me pontificate presently:

From jump, he has a nickname with meaning. He is called Ashy Larry. The accuracy and precision of his nickname means he probably was called that name since he was child. It also implies that he did not name himself with a degree of egocentric inaccuracy—like many rappers and Afro-centrists do (so his nickname is not Ladies Love Larry or Cool Larry or Sexy Larry or Hotep Ra Larry God X).

In my fictional account of Ashy Larry (that Dave is free to ‘steal’ from me), the African-descended children of Ashy Larry’s childhood used lotion. However, Ashy Larry’s family immigrated from a humid climate like one of the islands in the Caribbean—where using lotion is unnecessary. Moreover, Ashy’s family thought of themselves superior to their fellow neighbors in those housing projects in the urban, eastern region of the United States and refused to adapt to the local customs including using lotion—to anoint the body with oil (an ancient African practice, by the way, dating back before Biblical times).

So it is incorrect to assume that Ashy Larry is covered with ash. More culturally educated people know that Ashy Larry is covered with flakes of his own dried skin! It’s full-body dandruff in the house! He does not understand what his body needs and abuses it out of ignorance. He is no longer living in a climate that takes care of his skin. He needs to take special steps to protect himself because he is transplanted in a strange land. Instead, he is literally gambling his life away in The World Series of Dice. My people perish for lack of knowledge. Know lotion! Start somewhere… Ashy Larry is mentality conditioned not to listen to you when you try to tell him to pick up a bottle of lotion. Even as plumes of his skin, whitened by stupidity, cascading like talcum powder, fills the air.

This is yet another wonderful opportunity to bring some reality according to the laws of nature in this silly-ass discussion: When I see Ashy Larry, I think of the Pima People of Arizona. When you see an obese Pima, you may feel that somehow this person just needs to eat less the next time they go to the fast food restaurant. You may feel that this person is “just like everybody else” and all these people need to do is moderate a little. When you come to this conclusion, you may feel like a responsible, liberal, tolerant, loving person but your monkey-ass would be profoundly and scientifically incorrect. The Pima People are the “chosen people” of region we now call Arizona. Their bodies and minds were naturally selected for that natural environment. Scientific research shows that their bodies are not designed for civilian fast food restaurants and associated corporate officer/shareholder revenues. So they should not eat at fast restaurants at all—not the ones as we know them now.

However, I am sure we can find a Pima “Indian” sitting in a fast food restaurant on any given day. And just like Ashy Larry, there is nothing you can tell him to get him out of that restaurant. To him, such efforts come from a fantasy world of dreaming of an Arizona past never to return. To him, he is keeping it real—thinking that he is a part of larger world that is literally killing him with morbid obesity and adult-onset diabetes. That is not funny. But Ashy Larry: that shit is funny.

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